IT REALLY ISN'T TV: IT'S HBO

The Above Statement is True

Living rooms are designed around televisions for a reason, and that reason is that television is our window into the world.  We live vicariously through everything from dramas and comedies to documentaries and, dare I say it, reality TV.  But now that there are hundreds of channels, it’s becoming harder and harder to find quality, awe inspiring programming.

Free channels, terrible concepts.

The viewing content of free channels and standard cable has declined over the last 10 years or into terrible concepts, poor acting, and did I mention terrible concepts?  It’s a continuous stream of raw sewage being pumped onto our screens every day.  That being said, it’s a bit like the old dumpster diving adage, occasionally if you search enough seas of garbage you might pull out a gold watch.  But at the end of the day, it’s a lot of shit surfing for one good show.

HBO have the golden goose.

However there is a network that has kept its dedication to stellar shows.  HBO is, and has been at the forefront of fantastic television.  Amazing concepts, stunning characters and Emmy winning performances all make the premium cable network well worth the investment.  They have the golden goose when it comes to quality TV shows and if you haven’t had the HBO experience, you have been missing out for years as their back catalogue of original programming is quite impressive.

OZ, Arliss, The Larry Sanders Show, Sex & The City, The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, The Wire, Entourage, True Blood, Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones…to name but a few…and that’s a stellar resume for any TV Network.

Check out a clip from HBO's 'Game Of Thrones'

Article By: Phil McCarron

THE WALKING DEAD

Please! When WAS the last time you washed?

Much to my delight, ‘The Walking Dead’ has returned to FX. I enjoyed the special effects, the storyline and even Andrew Lincoln’s accent change to American.

I was a bit apprehensive when I found out that there had been an array of staff changes behind the scenes to the point where I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the new series.

Would I get the same level of gore? Would the storyline still be reasonably exciting? Would there be anything quite as rank and revolting as seeing a horse being eaten by the undead?

Well, yeah there was, to all of the above questions.

We got up close and friendly with several zombies, including a spectacular view of rotting gums and teeth. So close you could almost smell the decomposition.

There was a good bit of drama in the opening episode too…. I won’t say too much in case you haven’t watched it, but when Bambi appears trust your gut instinct. Just sayin’

Blade the Horse didnt get his contract renewed

Much to my warped sense of joy, there was the ‘gore-fest, disgusting, make me look away in horror, boak inducing’ scene too. All I can say is I'm so very glad that smell-a-vision doesn’t exist.


Yup, come Friday night, Ill be tuning in to see more zombies. Feeling a bit of an expert now after all these zombie books, TV shows and films I’ve been watching, I’m not sure I ever really want to be in the position to draw on that knowledge though.




Article By:  Lynn Tulloch

KIM'S KARDASHIAN KAOS

Kris found it easy to rest his pint on Kim's head

I like a bit of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ on E! It’s a bit like my little dirty secret that I try not to let anyone know.

I will admit that I lay along the couch with my cup of coffee and watched Kim’s fairytale wedding to Kris Humphries. That was for all the back-to-back shows leading up to and including the wedding.

There were a few things that I noticed when watching the series, the first was how shockingly tall Kris Humphries is (6ft 9in). That is one tall guy and quite a height difference with Kim who is supposedly around 5ft 2ish.

I’m not suggesting for one moment that height difference is the cause of a marriage break up as I am sure there must be more to it than that, or at least I sincerely hope so!

Anyway, I realised, while watching the episodes leading up to the wedding that I was really feeling sorry for Kris Humphries. He seems a nice guy, kind, generous and one who was beginning to crack under the Kardashian pressure.

Marriage means different things to different people but to me it means that you have someone there to support, love and care for you no matter what. But realistically what place does Kris Humphries have when the Kardashian Klan are providing that already?

Unfortunately I don’t think Kris Humphries had a snowballs chance in hell against the rest of the family. Maybe if they had all sat down and had a chat with fellow reality celebs Kendra and Hank Baskett they may have got on a bit better.

Kendra & Hank 'keepin it real

Yesterday Kimmy K said "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best."

Then Kris H had to issue a statement which said "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce," take it she didn’t actually speak to him about it then?

Sorry Kris you obviously don’t fit in with their lifestyle and aren’t photogenic enough so you’ve been written out of the next series.

There ends the marriage of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian, to think, I’ve had fruit last longer in the fridge……




Article By:  Lynn Tulloch

PHAT CAR - FAT BEHIND

Any excuse for a Scirocco picture 

We know that people are getting bigger in size, that news isn’t new.

What may not be more obvious is that cars are getting bigger and heavier as well. An example the Mk1 VW Scirocco is 1625mm wide and 3880mm long, theMk3 VW Scirocco is 1810mm wide and 4256mm long.

Certainly, some of this can be attributed to how much space you need to house all the electrical gadgets from ABS to Air Con and everything in between. The public now demand safety and luxury features in their cars in the bucket load so, they have to go somewhere.

The other reason for this is people. Yeah that’s right, people are getting bigger too, and therefore the amount of space they require in their cars will have to be bigger as well.

So what are car manufacturers doing about this?

Well, BMW for example have now got some 800 volunteers helping them work out how to design cars for obese people. Mercedes are planning to strengthen grab handles, Honda have widened their seats by approx 50mm and Porsches now have steering columns that retract and lift when the car is switched off, much like the top of the range Japanese cars.

It’s the small things that make all the difference, from the size of the doors to how far apart the pedals are. Reverse cameras and blind spot warning systems have all been added too which are designed to help the larger person manoeuvre their vehicle.

Is this really such a good idea? Or should we as a society not be concentrating on improving people’s health instead?

THE VOTE IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD

Phil McCarron on the recent violence muddying the waters of protest.

Napoleon Bonaparte once said that “There are only two forces in this world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run, the sword will always be conquered by the spirit.”

Liberty in blood

The Occupy protests have remained firmly entrenched on the battle field of social and economical change, proving that this is much more than a half-hearted fad.  Remaining true to the routes of the movement, they have been orderly and peaceful.  However, those that wish to see an end to the fight for social equality have grown weary of listening to the voice of the people and are stepping up efforts to shut them down.  The tipping point on the seesaw of forceful and peace has quivered.

All across America, city ordinances and curfews are being put into place in an attempt to stamp out the movement, with some cities even resorting to tear gas, baton rounds, and rubber bullets. 

Violence is contagious and is always destined to escalate…it should never be bilaterally used to promote change, as a change bought in blood will always be stained, and the memory of that blood always lasts longer than the wound.

“When liberty comes with hands dabbled in blood, it is hard to shake hands with her.”

~Oscar Wilde

 Non-violent solution

In the London riots, the police were criticized for not clearing the rioters out.  They were scorned for not using force.  In hindsight, they did the correct thing.  At a heavy financial cost, they merely contained the rioters and let their blind rage peter out.  Had the London Police met violence with violence, the escalation would have torn the city streets apart.

The Occupy movement MUST remain non-violent at all costs in order to succeed.  Victory for the movement can only come from the method that first bore this inequality.  Legislation.

Your contract is up for renewal Mr. Senator

In one year’s time, the election polls will be open for business.  The representatives and senators of both parties that have struck down jobs bills, avoided tax loopholes, bailed out corporations instead of the working class, had their pockets lined by lobbyists and kept the 1% appeased, will be interviewing to keep their jobs.  Though the politicians work for the 1% of the country, it’s the 99% that employ them.

A final message to the elected officials,

“You are one election away from being unemployed like the rest of us.”

~Phil McCarron

Article by: Phil McCarron

1% OF THE AMERICAN DREAM

Though the phrase ‘The American Dream’ died out quite some time ago, the mindset it instilled remains woven into the fabric of American society.  The American dream, that once made this country great, is fast becoming just another page in a history book, slowly slipping from our memories it’s now an opaque belief that is in peril of crossing over the line, from legendary into the realm of myth.

The American Opportunity

The American Dream was the idea that all men were created equally, and that everyone, regardless of color, sex, age, or social class, should be afforded the chance to live a prosperous life.  It was a revolutionary principle in civilization, as it effectively cast off the shackles of the social class system.  No longer was a person bound to a certain quality of life by their bloodline or skin tone, but only by their personal abilities, and their abilities to define themselves and work toward achieving a richer fuller life.

Regardless of what either political party says, the disappearance of this mindset isn’t an issue of Americans becoming freeloaders with a sense of entitlement, or jealously toward the successful; it has and always will be about the keyword in The American Dream…opportunity.

The 99% vs. The 1%

The deep seeded unrest on the streets of America has been smoldering for decades, and the embers of injustice are beginning to re-ignite that American spirit.  The 99% have finally been stripped of the only thing they wanted in the first place…opportunity.

The 1%, the obscenely wealthy business owners and corporations, have been entrusted by both Republican and Democratic polices, containing copious tax breaks and subsidies exclusive to the 1%, to provide that opportunity for their fellow Americans to realize their potential and strive for a prosperous life…the 1% have abused this privilege…they have failed us.

Financial Slavery

Instead of reinvesting in the communities that enriched their lives, instead of giving the benefit of the doubt, instead of encouraging others to reach for the stars, the 1% has systematically depleted this nation of opportunity in order to keep the prosperity for themselves.  Piece by piece the 1% has dismantled the American Dream through financial slavery by controlling the flow of money and controlling the price and existence of labor.

Left and right, come together as Americans

This isn’t an issue for Rightwing or Leftwing preconceptions or stubborn viewpoints, this is an issue for ALL Americans, to come together and stop the descending spiral into social and economical madness, to restore the virtuous revelation upon which this nation was founded…that everyone is treated as equals, and that they all deserve a chance to achieve a full and prosperous life.  

Whether it be the ‘Occupy Wall Street’ movement, or the ‘Tea Party,’ the American people are beginning to wake up and are starting to exercise their democratic right to make a change.

There has come a point in every great civilizations history when the line is drawn between what is, and what is not an acceptable state of affairs.  The civilized nation is America, the affair is the death of opportunity, and the line has been crossed.

The battle to reclaim the ‘Land of Opportunity’ has begun.

Article by: Phil McCarron

HALLOWEEN: WHAT CAR TO PERFECTLY ACCESSORIZE YOUR COSTUME

31^st of October, Halloween, Samhain, All Hallows Even, or Festival of the Dead, call it what you will but it is more or less it’s all the same thing. The lead up to Halloween is now filled with people, kids and pets getting dressed up as witches, zombies, vampires, werewolves. Some even use their imagination and end up dressed up as something more original.

That made me wonder, what sort of car you would drive if you were a creature of the night….

After some thought I reckoned that Werewolves would probably require the use of a 4wd so you could go off to run as a wolf somewhere where you weren’t likely to be seen. If it had a decent load space you could stash a change of clothes there and whatever animal you had caught too.

Then I remembered how much dogs like to stick their head out the window with their tongue hanging out, getting doggie slavers down the ‘C’ pillar of the car and letting your ears blow in the wind. Dogs also like to run in packs, track and hunt. So, a combination of 4wd drive and convertible would be ideal. That leaves the limited edition Rav 4 convertible from 1999 a JEEP Wrangler or Freelander Convertible. Depending on who the Werewolf is, they might even really appreciate the idea of having an Audi Quattro Cabriolet….

So, imagine for one moment you are a Zombie for example, the choice of car isn’t going to be an issue; you are most probably not being able to do anything apart from move towards food.

Giving the odd moan you would just follow the rest of the zombie hoard on your way. Not using your brain and following the crowd could possibly mean that Zombies would drive BMW Minis.

So what would the trendy cool Vampire about town drive? I suppose it would depend on what Vampire Lore we are following. Assuming the Bram Stoker version then Vampires don’t melt in daylight, do need blood and do really need a place for a coffin.

That would mean something along the lines of a pick-up truck. Though if the Vampire in question had been around for a while they would probably have built up some cash and to be able to attract victims into your ‘ride’ may be an advantage. So I reckon an imported Ford F1 pickup or an HSV Maloo.

As for the Witch, what do you think she would drive? I drive an old scirocco; it’s held together by magic and looks a bit like a broom.

Article by: Lynn Tulloch