Liz Jones - The Daily Mail Sperm Thief

I read to today that Liz Jones ‘stole’ her husband’s sperm from a condom and tried to get herself pregnant with it.

There you go; I’ve got that bit out now. Phew!

Not the Police Mug Shot

Anyway, who the hell is Liz Jones?

Well, she’s a journalist who used to write for various fashion magazines who now writes diary type things and comments on stuff. Ooooh a bit like me then! Except Liz Jones has an actual qualification in what she does.

Back to the Sperm Thief

I must admit to being quite horrified by Jones’ admission on sperm stealing. I mean really, men all over the UK who have heard/read about this will now be absolutely bricking themselves in case it’s given their ‘secretly wanting a child’ partners ideas.

Certainly, I know of women friends who have wanted children and their partner hasn’t, only to agree to keep the peace then secretly not take their contraceptive pill etc. Though I will say that on the other hand, I know some men who want children and their partners have told them it will not be happening anytime soon.

You what????

Is it a good piece of writing because she has gotten people talking about how things change in relationships or horrific because she has somehow managed to make it seem all very cheap by saying ‘Because he wouldn’t give me what I wanted, I decided to steal it from him. I resolved to steal his sperm from him in the middle of the night. I thought it was my right, given that he was living with me and I had bought him many, many M&S ready meals.’

That makes it OK then Liz doesn’t it. You’ve bought him dinner, kept him so therefore you own him? People would be outraged if a man had said that.

Liz may consider herself to be a feminist which kind of begs the question what she sees as being a feminist? Equal opportunities for women or the excuse to get what you want and abuse another human being’s trust?

I see Yasmin Alibhai-Brown as a feminist but also a humanist who speaks common sense. All too often common sense goes out the window today with people being too concerned about being politically correct.

Maybe Liz Jones should read some of Yasmin Alibhai-Brown’s writing. Just sayin’ Liz.

THE WALKING DEAD

Please! When WAS the last time you washed?

Much to my delight, ‘The Walking Dead’ has returned to FX. I enjoyed the special effects, the storyline and even Andrew Lincoln’s accent change to American.

I was a bit apprehensive when I found out that there had been an array of staff changes behind the scenes to the point where I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the new series.

Would I get the same level of gore? Would the storyline still be reasonably exciting? Would there be anything quite as rank and revolting as seeing a horse being eaten by the undead?

Well, yeah there was, to all of the above questions.

We got up close and friendly with several zombies, including a spectacular view of rotting gums and teeth. So close you could almost smell the decomposition.

There was a good bit of drama in the opening episode too…. I won’t say too much in case you haven’t watched it, but when Bambi appears trust your gut instinct. Just sayin’

Blade the Horse didnt get his contract renewed

Much to my warped sense of joy, there was the ‘gore-fest, disgusting, make me look away in horror, boak inducing’ scene too. All I can say is I'm so very glad that smell-a-vision doesn’t exist.


Yup, come Friday night, Ill be tuning in to see more zombies. Feeling a bit of an expert now after all these zombie books, TV shows and films I’ve been watching, I’m not sure I ever really want to be in the position to draw on that knowledge though.




Article By:  Lynn Tulloch

KIM'S KARDASHIAN KAOS

Kris found it easy to rest his pint on Kim's head

I like a bit of ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ on E! It’s a bit like my little dirty secret that I try not to let anyone know.

I will admit that I lay along the couch with my cup of coffee and watched Kim’s fairytale wedding to Kris Humphries. That was for all the back-to-back shows leading up to and including the wedding.

There were a few things that I noticed when watching the series, the first was how shockingly tall Kris Humphries is (6ft 9in). That is one tall guy and quite a height difference with Kim who is supposedly around 5ft 2ish.

I’m not suggesting for one moment that height difference is the cause of a marriage break up as I am sure there must be more to it than that, or at least I sincerely hope so!

Anyway, I realised, while watching the episodes leading up to the wedding that I was really feeling sorry for Kris Humphries. He seems a nice guy, kind, generous and one who was beginning to crack under the Kardashian pressure.

Marriage means different things to different people but to me it means that you have someone there to support, love and care for you no matter what. But realistically what place does Kris Humphries have when the Kardashian Klan are providing that already?

Unfortunately I don’t think Kris Humphries had a snowballs chance in hell against the rest of the family. Maybe if they had all sat down and had a chat with fellow reality celebs Kendra and Hank Baskett they may have got on a bit better.

Kendra & Hank 'keepin it real

Yesterday Kimmy K said "After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best."

Then Kris H had to issue a statement which said "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce," take it she didn’t actually speak to him about it then?

Sorry Kris you obviously don’t fit in with their lifestyle and aren’t photogenic enough so you’ve been written out of the next series.

There ends the marriage of Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian, to think, I’ve had fruit last longer in the fridge……




Article By:  Lynn Tulloch