Santa's Christmas in July

So, it's all happening today then. Just how much excitement can the UK handle?

We have had the Queen's jubilee, the Olympic torch relay and now?

That's right, Harrods has opened up it's Christmas shop. It's 151 days to Christmas and Santa arrives in his union jack painted convertible jaguar. Yeah baby!!


Ok, I realise that was a corny joke, but hey.... Who am I to miss the opportunity for a quick gag?

Anyway, its now officially time to get your arse into gear and avoid the Christmas rush by visiting the Christmas World department in Harrods, Knightsbridge, which is now officially open for business.

At Christmas crackers costing £1299 (no, I haven't missed out the decimal point), a replica of Tower of London and a pop up gingerbread Harrods, I'm sure I'll be just fine searching the Internet and getting smaller and more thoughtful gifts from British firms like Busy Bee Candles, Sugar Poke or a clock from Wags and Bones or my dog treats from Lily's Kitchen.


Then I know what I'm getting is special and helping to keep my hard earned cash in the UK.


Until then, I'll switch on the Olympics and watch Danny Boyle's efforts and some more home grown talent.







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Cannibal Cult Crew Kills

I am aware that I'm starting to sound like a zombie/cannibal expert or fanatic, but I just find it a bit interesting, maybe because I'm vegetarian and the idea of eating flesh freaks me out so much.

However, when I heard that 29 people had been arrested in Papua New Guinea as members of a cannibal cult I had to tell you.
The punchline is they were arrested for murdering 7 witch doctors, eating their brains (raw, as if that really matters) and making penis soup. The best bit is, they don't actually consider what they have done as being wrong and according to Police Commander Anthony Wagambie from the Madang province, they openly admit what they have done.
Ok, why consume the people you have murdered? Surely, killing them is enough? Apparently not.
Now, here it begins to sound more fiction than fact.
These cult members (approximately 1000 in total) are sounding a bit vigilante to me. See, firstly they are employing specially trained people to hunt and kill the sorcerers, then by actually consuming the flesh of the victims, they would absorb their supernatural powers, a bit like Sylar in the tv show 'Heroes' although he didn't have them as dinner.

In defence of the cannibal crew (if there is a defence for killing and eating someone) they maintain that these so called witch doctors were charging huge amounts of cash for their services or demanding sex from the villagers in return.
As the cannibal crew were consuming the murdered people to take on their supernatural powers, it's suggests that it wasn't because they reckoned the witch doctors were fake, but the 'sanguma' or sorcery charges were too high.
I do feel a lot of sympathy for Anthony Wagambie, as he doesn't actually have any dead bodies....... It's a bit hard to try someone with murder if there is no body. Not even any remains have been found.


Obviously Wagambie thinks they have been eaten..... - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Clever Marketing or Chauvinistic Mayor

Gallus and Black Forest have a completely different meaning in Scotland when the words are strung together than when they refer to the Mayor of a German town.


However, in the real world, Triberg is a town in the Black Forest area of Germany and their Mayor is called Gallus Strobel. He is in the news cause he has set out separate parking areas for men and women.....

When you open a can of worms, you can't close the tin immediately, you have to let some wriggle away first.

His idea is wider parking spaces for women in areas that are better lit. Spaces for men are closer to concrete pillars and can only be reversed into. Now, depending on how this was marketed, this could be a great idea. However, he followed it up by saying that men were better at parking than women.

"In the new car park we found that two place were not rectangular, at an angle to the road and placed between walls and pillars; that makes parking difficult so we decided to allocate them to men," the 58 year-old mayor told Germany's Spiegel magazine.

Here's the bit where Mayor Strobel has tried to put the lid back on the worm can by adding, "there were great women drivers, and all women were welcome to try and park in the men-only spaces."


As a marketing ploy, this has worked brilliantly as now I know that Triberg is a town in the Black Forest and Gallus Strobel is the Mayor. I also know that being of the weaker sex, I can park my huge Audi A6 Quattro in a nice well lit area and not concern myself about my lack of driving skill.

What I will concern myself with though is that while nice Mayor Strobel has catered for women who lack driving skill he has completely ignored the requirements of the guys who can't even drive a hot nail into a snowball. But who am I to argue? If someone wants to give me a nice big parking spot while some dude wants to show off his hand/eye coordination in an area half the size, I'll happily watch the entertainment.

Oh well! You can't keep everyone happy I suppose.








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The Price of Patriotism, Wholesale Price...That Is

With the kickoff of The London 2012 Olympic Games just a few weeks away, a new US political furor has emerged in its shadow.

The offending uniforms.

Recently all sides of the political aisle, both on The Hill and in there respective partisan newsrooms, legislators and pundits alike have came out and condemned the USA's official team uniforms for the 2012 games.  It seems like such an insignificant issue to even draw a statement from the most powerful people in the country, let alone becoming news worthy for all the major networks.  But this condemnation alludes to a much large crack in the American Culture and the American economic system, a low blow that strikes a raw nerve with a country that is clawing at the barrel walls to avoid slipping deeper, and again, into another job destroying recession.

In recent weeks Team USA officially unveiled the uniforms that all their athletes will don for the upcoming Olympics in London.  At first glance the drew criticism simple because of their look, but after further investigation they have become a point of contention.  The uniforms were designed by legendary American fashion house Ralph Lauren, a staple in American style for decades.  However, they have been styled in a decidedly French fashion with berets for the men and neckerchiefs for the women.  Even the the colors of the neckerchief looks decidedly French with it appearing more 'Blue White and Red' rather than the hall mark American 'Red White and Blue.'

A uniform that the entire team representing America will be wearing as they showcase what their athletes can do on the world stage look French, but that isn't what has pushed this anger to a level that left Senate Majority leader Harry Reid (D) so perplexed that he could barely form a coherent sentence at a press conference.  It was the fact that these uniforms were all made in China.  At a time when the American job sector is suffering, and when pride before the Olympics is starting to build, the US Olympic committee decided to get all it's uniforms made in China.  And they will cost over $1000 to buy retail.

This goes to sum up the problems with American economic culture.  It's goods are styled on European design, made in China on the cheap, tagged with an American brand name, then sold to the public under the guise of patriotism for a price that can only be described as a small fortune.

Ralph Lauren profits, the Chinese workers profits, and America's Olympic team have a stain on them before they've even heard the first measures of their national anthem.


Written by:  Phil M.

Could Mermaids Encourage us to Pay More Attention

I'm used to reading that the US Government has denied that any it has any evidence of life outside of our universe. I am also used to reading that the US CDC says there is no zombie apocalypse.

However, when I read that the US Government said that, "No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found," I wondered exactly what had happened that I had so obviously missed.


I mean, no UFOs, zombies, chupacabra, vampires or werewolves and now no mermaids? Then, to make matters worse National Ocean Service spokeswoman Carol Kavanaugh told The BBC, "We don't have a mermaid science program."

Gutted!

But seriously though, where did all this come about?

Well last week Animal Planet had their 'Monster Week'. As part of the week of shows they had a 2 hour mock-umentary, complete with CGI and fake scientists, called 'Mermaids: The Body Found'.

Now, don't get me wrong, it wasn't 100% fake, there were some real facts in there too, like the mass beachings of whales in 1990s and the unexplained 'bloop' sound that marine biologists found in 1997.

So it was more using fiction to explain fact.


Anyway, I watched it yesterday and I have to say that it was brilliant. It was wonderfully done. The pieces of fact merged well with the storyline that when apes came out of the trees, some stayed on land and some went into the sea.

As I said, its loosely based on fact, but does point out some interesting points.

Like for example, Polar bears evolved from brown bears and are now marine mammals. Babies can hold their breath under water easily. Humans and Dolphins will naturally help each other hunting and that some new species of sea mammals have only recently been discovered. Probably the most interesting piece of evidence is the amount of stories about mermaids in different cultures and civilisations spread about the world.

Hmmm......

I'm not sure who said 'never let the truth stand in the way of a good rumour', but this is fiction based on fact, a bit like Oliver Stone's 'JFK' not actual real fact.


That leaves us with a great conspiracy theory, a Roswell for mermaids.

I recommend that you watch it if you get a chance, it's awesome and does give you many more questions than answers, just like a great mystery should do. I just hope that it encourages more people to have an interest I the ocean and conservation.



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Pitbull Looking for Huskies?

I have a soft spot for Armando Christian Perez. Ok, I know it's not cool for a 40 something mother to like a Miami rapper who can sing in Spanish and English and has made something of himself. Someone who has gone from being kicked out by his mother for drug dealing to being a rapper, music producer, songwriter, business man, A&R man, presenter and actor, he has turned himself into a success.

He chose the name 'Pitbull' well.


So why am I writing about Pitbull today? Well as part of a promotion with Walmart, he will be sent to the branch that gets the most 'likes' on Facebook.

What a quality idea, Pitbull meeting and partying with fans.

Then, The Boston Phoenix newspaper started to encourage people to 'like' Walmart in Kodiak, (that is in Alaska if your geography isn't good). So the Miami born guy could end up some 225 miles south of Anchorage on the island famous for, yes you've guessed it, brown bears.




Probably the most amusing bit about this is that Kodiak Walmart has amassed more than 5 times the population of 'likes', currently sitting at around 47,250.

However Pitbull being the good guy that he is said, 'wherever the fans want to have a party, I will be there'.




I think that there is a definite split of people wanting Armando to visit, those who want to see him there and those who want rid of him from mainland USA.

Personally, I think that's a shame, in my opinion pitbull rocks. Like his name sake, he has proven that you can't judge a book by its cover.



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House Hunting with History

I have an odd body shape, well it's odd when you're shopping for clothes, cause they are always too tight somewhere or too loose somewhere. Basically, I have a small waist and a fat arse. You could argue that it's curvy etc blah blah, whatever, but the punchline is, it's a bugger to get clothes to really fit you.


Anyway, I always found that I could buy Versace jeans & they would fit me like the man himself had made them just for me........ Ah! I had Versace tops, trousers, jeans, dresses, jackets, the works. All were gorgeous, sumptuous and delightful to wear.

The man knew how to make short women with fat arses look and feel gorgeous (in my opinion anyway, I possibly looked like a right sight, but that's for another discussion).

Gianni Versace was murdered on his doorstep by Andrew Cunanan in 1997. I was upset at that because for the first time since Kurt Cobain had died that I felt like it affected me. Does that sound daft? Of course, later on that year we lost Michael Hutchence, Chris Farley and Princess Diana and public mourning was made more acceptable.


I'm not writing this blog about grief, 1997 or me not being able to hide my huge behind underneath some glamorous clothes, it's about Gianni's house, the house where he was murdered.

Known as Casa Casuarina, it was built in 1930 by Alden Freeman who modelled it on the Alcazar de Colon which is in the Dominican Republic. Incidentally that house is famous for being built by Christopher Columbus' son.
It has has 10 bedrooms. It has a gold lined pool. It has 11 bathrooms. It has a gold tiled kitchen. It is for sale for $125m or £80.7m.

Just now it's a kind of really posh place to stay that costs approximately $4000 a night. For that sum you get a personal butler, king sized bed, a living area of sorts and (oh my god) free wi-fi, which at the cost of $4k a night I'd hope the bloody wi-fi was free!


Of course, the real reason I'm not interested in purchasing Casa Casuarina is that it's not really to my taste. Although I do like the huge medusa mosaic, possibly that's due to having it stamped on my arse for most of the mid 90s.

However, I would feel guilty as hell if I was to redecorate 1116 Ocean Drive. I'm sure I would find out if the Devil really did Wear Prada.



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Judging The Person by The Shoes

Is it just me, or is it quite funny that a study about guessing people's personality from their shoes was carried out in Kansas?

Ok, it's maybe a bit left field, but come on? Dorothy? Toto? Ruby red slippers?

Anyway, here's the science bit. Researchers at the University if Kansas found out that judging a stranger's personality by their shoes is 90% accurate. In fact, it even goes so far as to say that you can work out their gender, age, income, emotional stability and politics from someone's footwear.

Jeez, who needs astrology when all you need to do is check out their clogs?

I was going to call on my science degree for the whole 'Aim, Method, Apparatus, Results, Conclusion' thing, but let's be honest, science is only cool on TV when you're a character on Criminal Minds or CSI.

So the guinea pigs were asked to put on the shoes that they wore most often and complete a personality survey.

It wasn't rocket science to work out that those with the expensive shoes earned more cash or that extroverts tend to have fancier shoes.


Anyway the researchers who viewed 208 photos of shoes noted that agreeable people wore practical shoes, calm people had uncomfortable shoes. Liberals had cheaper and shabbier shoes, whereas the people who liked to take care of their footwear may suffer from attachment anxiety. Ankle boots tend to be worn by those who people who have a more aggressive personality.



So that leaves Dorothy as an extroverted calm person who likes to wear the shoes of a dead witch?

Oh well, who said 'you can't judge an Indian till you walk 10 miles in his moccasins?'





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Innocent Until Proven Guilty

There are so many moral dilemmas in this story that I'm not even sure where to begin. It is, in all honesty a mine field for a practising philosopher.
I'll tell you the story though, as best as I can, without any of my views.
Last week, a family in Texas had a gathering of some people round to their house. Other members of the family were outside tending to the horses, when the father came back indoors and caught one of the 'guests' allegedly sexually assaulting his 4 year old daughter. The father then repeatedly punched the alleged attacker in the head, the attacker was pronounced dead at the scene.

The 4 year old was taken to hospital to be examined before being released.
According to CNN, Lavaca County Sheriff Micah Harmon said, "You have a right to defend your daughter. He acted in defence of his third person. Once the investigation is completed we will submit it to the district attorney who then submits it to the grand jury, who will decide if they will indict him."
Wow, tricky situation on a number of accounts but surely, we can all accept that it is wrong to kill.
Fact 1. Initial autopsy results showed that the cause of death was blunt force trauma.
Fact 2. The person who died is only an alleged child molester, they have not (and now cannot) be tried in court. There are no unbiased witnesses, only the report that the father found his daughter with Jesus Mora Flores and his underwear at his ankles.
Fact 3. The father of the 4 year old must live forever knowing that he took someone else's life.
Now I know that the father is apparently very remorseful for what has happened, but he can't take away the fact that another person died at his hands. Ok, there may have been some underlying reason for the death of the other person, but only time will tell.
So here is my predicament. Is it ever right to kill?
I know that it is wrong to kill. However, I have no idea what I would do to someone I caught molesting my child.
What I can say with a heavy heart is that, my tree-hugging hippy, Wiccan earth mother persona would get tossed out the window as some demon possessed version of Xena Warrior Princess would appear. Even more of a worry is that, I'm not sure that I would be able to stop if they hit the floor.
I guess it is really true, you can't judge an Indian till you walked 10 miles in his moccasins.

As a foot note: the father will not be charged, here is the link
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18522383
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Why the Olympic Torch is Important

Its not every day you witness history in the making, but today was the exception.
Today, the 13th of June 2012, I saw the Olympic torch.
It's a bit like the build up to the gala day only on a much larger scale. The police are about and patrolling the streets, Central Scotland Police & the Met as well.




The people begin to line the streets, school children standing, eagerly awaiting to see what is going to happen. People come out from their place of work on an extended break, partly because they can and partly to see what all the fuss is about. I daresay that many of them had the same initial reaction as I did, with the nonchalant, 'whatever' and rolling eyes heaven ward.
But it's more than that. Way more.




There is the bus with the torch bearers, all immaculately dressed in their London Olympic 2012 white track suits, all waiting their turn to share this historic event.
There are the crew of organisers speaking quietly into their radios giving and receiving updates on where the convoy is and when it is due to arrive.




The convoy involves police motorbikes, who not only wave at the crowds but go and touch the outstretched hands of school children, all delighted to be involved. The big police BMWs with 'Metropolitan Police' emblazoned down the sides, windows down, again waving to the crowds in the street, lights on with the occasional siren come next, drawing yet more interest from the bystanders, radio and tv crews.




Then come the convoy of sponsors buses. Handing out some items to school children and old people alike, no one is exempt for the party atmosphere.
At the beginning of the route, the torch bearer comes out of the bus to massive cheers from the crowd.




Where we were, torch bearer number 46 stood with a face awash with pride for what he was about to do. Some of the staff from the surrounding offices, ushered the kids to the front of the crowd for a better and much closer look.

Tom Sreeves spoke to the children and answered all their questions, he posed for photographs and took his time to share his honour with us, the public.

It has to be said, the torch is beautiful. For some reason I expected it to feel cold and a bit rough around the 8000 perforated circles, but it doesn't.

When the torch is lit, it is done in a circle of met police officers all in matching silver shorts and tshirts, the only way you know they are police is from the warrant cards proudly displayed on their arm. Like a precision operation the flame is safely passed from one person to the next.




And that is what today was all about, inspiration, pride, joy and us all coming together in celebration.




It's not everyday you witness history, but, today on the 13th of June 2012, I touched the Olympic torch.


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Olympic Torch

It's a bit like the build up to the gala day. The police are about and patrolling the streets.

Complete with a special appearance from the Met


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Zombies or cannibals, which is more socially acceptable?

I try really hard to blog about different subjects, you know, the ones that attract your attention, make you laugh, grimace, scowl, cringe, give you the 'dry boak' (I know it's a Scottish word, but it'll do y'all no harm to learn some words in another language) or a combination of all of the above.


Unfortunately, I'm finding myself writing about zombies and cannibalism again. So, yeah if that means I'm a sick depraved individual who is starting to appear on some real dodgy lists out there in the stratosphere then so be it.

It should be no real surprise that I've unearthed some more cannibalism/zombie stories from the worlds news recently. It's actually quite gross that there are more and more stories of people getting bits of themselves eaten, in fact bizarrely enough the recording of 'Criminal Minds' was about a cannibalistic killer who fed everyone searching the woods for the victim a very filling stew..... Oh yeah, the meat was the missing girl.

Bleurgh!

So then, what stories do we have so far?

Well, Canadian bisexual porn actor Luka Rocco Magnotta being arrested for the suspected torture, killing and eating of someone.


In Japan, Mao Sugiyama had his male genitalia removed then offered them online to diners as a ¥100,000 or about £800. Just for your information, 5 people coughed up the money and ate his 'bits'.

The Miami man who was shot dead because he was in the process of eating someone's face, incidentally the victim is STILL alive

The Maryland student who was charged with killing and eating his flat mate.

The Swedish man who cut off and ate his wife's lips, by the way, she is still alive.

The Texan woman who ate her infant son.

The man from Louisiana who argued and bit a chunk out of his ex-wife's new husband.

So then, is the beginning of a zombie apocalypse or is cannibalism gradually becoming socially acceptable?

Im actually laughing at that sentence, but it is certainly doing the trending thing on the likes of twitter, yahoo, google blah blah.



Perhaps when Stephen King had said that there was something comforting about the end of the world, he was actually making sense.

He said, 'Everyone assumes they’ll survive; all of their current problems, which seem so daunting today, are suddenly, conveniently irrelevant; and all you ever wanted is just lying around waiting for you to pick it up, including everything you need to fight off the Army of Darkness.'

Much as I would like to think if there was some apocalypse on the horizon that encourages us to eat one another, I would become an amazing shot with a cross bow, I would probably be the unfortunate vegetarian trying to eat your face.

But that's another dilemma for another day.


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What To Do Instead of Watching Two and a Half Men

22 minutes and 22 seconds can be a really long time. OK if you're asleep between snoozes of your alarm, it's a very short time, I'll give you that. Generally though I'm sure you'll agree that it can be a long time, especially when waiting in a queue for the ladies toilet, being stuck behind a tractor or in a hospital waiting area......(not sure quite what that says about my life experiences)



However, I'm absolutely positive that you'll agree 22 minutes and 22 seconds while not taking a breath would seem like an absolute eternity. I mean, how would you pass the time? Would it be like when youre in a hot sauna and all you can think about is how hot it is?

Not so for Tom Sietas a 35 year old German. I have no idea why his age or nationality matters to anyone, but apparently its important to all the reporters relaying the story.

Anywhoo.... This guy has a huge lung capacity, which I suppose goes without saying if you can hold your breath for over 20 minutes. His lung capacity is 20% larger than the average person for his size. However, if you increased my lung capacity by 20% I'm still not sure I could hold my breath for 2 minutes, never mind the other 20.


Much as I would like to report that Tom discovered his breath holding ability while lying under foamy bath suds one Sunday night, it wasn't. His 'talent' was actually discovered by his suba diving teacher, which does seem like a bit of a let down.

Anyway, Tom was competing alongside the previous world record holder (maybe that should be world record breath holder), Ricardo Bahaia from Brazil. He only managed to hold his breath for a paltry 20 minutes and 21 seconds.



In order to make this 'task' easier, Sietas says that he lowers his metabolism by not eating for 5 hours before hand. To help them out, they start submerged in colder water about 5C which later on gets raised up to a much more hospitable 40C.

I find the whole idea of holding your breath for 22 minutes totally bizarre. I mean, breathing is something you have to do to to stay alive, so why would you want to practise not doing it?







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Having an Old Friend for Dinner

We all know that I love a bit of urban fantasy fiction. A bit of vampires, werewolves, witches and necromancers, shapeshifters, elves, fairies and zombies. Please note the use of the word 'fiction'.

This brings me nicely (or gruesomely) onto THE bizarre story of last week. The man in Florida who was shot dead whilst eating another man's face off..... Rudy Eugene, for some strange reason, pulled Ronald Poppo out of the shade, beat him up and was in the process of eating the last remaining 25% of the 65yr old's face when police got to him. After failing to stop munching, the police finally shot him.

Then we had the story of Canadian police looking for Luka Rocco Magnotta a 29 yr old self confessed bi-sexual porn actor who has done lots of posting. This included posting body parts to Canada's Conservative Party Headquarters, posting a video, imaginatively titled '1 lunatic, 1 ice pick' where he actually filmed the murder and posting some random blogs on how to kill folk and get away with it. Charming eh?

Then..... We had the story of the man in New Jersey who was intent on self-harming, well himself obviously. When the police broke in to his house to prevent him doing any damage to himself, he ended up throwing his intestines at them. Definitely a bad day at the office I'd say.

Want more? In Baltimore, Maryland, student Alexander Kinyua was arrested for killing and eating the brains and heart of his flat mate, Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie. The motive is still unknown.

This ultimately leads to the whole 'zombie apocalypse' headlines appearing in the news followed very closely by the jokes, fake/comedy twitter accounts and hash-tags. I could blame the whole social media thing and say that it has effectively wiped out the traditional period of mourning and shock at something really tragic happening. Everything happens so much faster today than even 10 years ago. It could also be said that anonymity on the likes of twitter and Facebook can add to even darker and more bad taste jokes being aired.

It was only when reading through this blog, that I realised I am totally guilty of the same thing. I can't help it, it's my main defence mechanism in dealing with things that are too horrible to contemplate, especially when they are true and real. I've relayed 4 gruesome stories and thrown in a bit of ironic humour. After all these cannibal jokes are in bad taste (10 points if you got the really awful joke there).

Surely this cant be the future of entertainment? Trolling the news for items of bad taste in which to joke about makes us the zombies, we become immune to humanity and feed on the pain of others. The way I see it is gallows humour is one thing but looking for unfortunate or tragic events to poke fun at isn't humour at all. I admit comedy is about knowing where that line is and dancing across it every so often, but it is a very hard thing to do without offending someone, somewhere.

But for now, there is no zombie apocalypse. Just some disturbed people out there with no one in a position to help them or care for them and no safety net for mentally ill outpatients, unfortunately this could mean that a whole load more people get killed while the world works out what to do with those who are mentally unstable.

In the meantime though, I recommend that you read 'World War Z' and 'Feed' just for some ideas on how to survive.......just in case the CDC are wrong.

Going For Gold or Going For Cash?

Dead as a Doornail isn't Dead in the Water

'Dead as a Doornail' is the fifth book in Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire Series and it's quite an exciting book too. The book concentrates on Sookie wanting a bit more of a quiet life. After all, so far, Sookie has had a friend murder her grandmother, fallen in love and been betrayed, been raped, slept with two vampires, been blown up, discovered that not only are vampires real, but werewolves, shapeshifters and witches too, had her brother attacked by werepanthers (its only at the beginning of this book that we find out he will shift at a new moon unlike the TV series).

I suppose after all that, I'd want a quieter life too.

However, this is so not on the cards for our Sookie, no she has more hassle and crap to put up with. Makes you wonder why she does it eh?

'Dead as a Doornail' begins with were-animals in the area being shot at. Obviously, this includes Sookie cause she hangs about with a lot of them.

There is a pack master challenge in Shreveport and the very wonderful Alcide asks Sookie for help. He needs her there to listen to people's thoughts and make sure no one will cheat, cause Jackson Herveaux is Alcide's dad and he's in the running.

Sookie gets kind of blackmailed into doing it cause he's worked out that there is a strong possibility that Sookie has something to do with Debbie Pelt's disappearing. Nice work there Alcide, gone from good guy to instant scum. However, the master of ceremonies is a were tiger called Quinn..... Hmmmm.

Sam, on the other hand has had a sly snog with Sookie, who is now convinced that vampires are bad news and are just into using her, which is quite ironic considering that as Sam has been shot he asks her to get Eric to give him a relief member of bar staff.....

Great, used by Sam, used by Alcide.

After being Franklin Mott's bit of fluff in book 3, Tara has been passed off by him to another vamp called Mickey who is not really emotionally stable. She needs help to get away from him.

So, yes, you've guessed it, Sookie to the rescue again, she bargains with Eric for his help. In return, Eric asks to be told what happened when he lost his memory in book 4. Sookie does this, in what is probably one of the best bits of the book, next to Eric laughing at 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' on television.

We all know that True Blood is loosely based on the SVM, so today Day 3 I'll give you a quick run down on book 5, then tomorrow, what story lines I think will be used and how some of the other characters may develop in Season 5.